12.12.2007

The worst mom in the world

When I picked up my son today at school, the teacher is standing holding a foiled-covered item. I ask, "What is that?" She answers, "His gingerbread house." As we walk to the car, Alex looks up at me and says, "Mommy, why weren't you here with all the other mommies to help me make my gingerbread man house?" Were we supposed to be here? My mind immediately starts racing. How could I not know about this? Did I forget it? Was he wrong? I started asking questions like whose mommy was there? Was Sierra's mommy there? Was this a party I missed? Who helped you with the gingerbread house?

Feeling terrible, I realized I should not assume anything until I get home and reread the message from the teacher. Sure enough, right there in front of me was a message yesterday inviting parents to come make gingerbread houses with the kids. Don't ask me how I missed it with all the emailing and computering I do. But I did. So I think back to the party at Thanksgiving when one child was left alone and how sad she was. Immediately feel like the worst parent ever. This wasn't the Christmas party (that's next week) just an added extra event where all the moms showed up, except for me. And where was I? Christmas shopping with my daughter. We had actually arrived at school 45 minutes early and just hung outside on the playground. So I could have come in and decorated with him.

When I asked Alex if he was sad about it, he said, "Not really, I just wanted to know where you were and why you weren't there with the other moms."

Still, I have some serious mommy guilt.

3 comments:

tricia said...

oh man....that mommy guilt! there is nothing like it, is there? I think every mom can relate!

Tifany said...

I can soooo relate, unfortunately. I actually manage to be pretty involved in my son's kindergarten class for a full time working mom, but ONE time I forgot to sign up to bring something for their Thanksgiving feast. It completely slipped my mind, even when I brought something for my daughter's pre-k class. And my son was devastated and cried a LOT and kept asking why I didn't send anything with him. Nothing like that guilt.

sak said...

It's not about the gingerbread houses, or about tracking every note sent home, but about what the event said to Alex. From your story, it's clear that the two of you walk with a lot of trust in each other. This moment gave you a window to see how secure he is!