SAHMs vs Working Moms

A recent topic resurrected itself in the news recently about Stay at Home Moms vs. Working Moms. Ahh….the ever persisting debate (one that I think the media likes to fuel more than we do). I started thinking about why this topic resurrects itself every three months or so. My guess is that news programs, newspaper, magazines are in need of readership.

So what is the debate about? The debate should be about why can’t people just do what’s best for their own children and stop comparing lifestyles. Moms who go back to work do so for a number of reasons.

Financial: Perhaps mom makes more money than dad or both incomes are needed to sustain an acceptable lifestyle. Places like California, New York, Boston or DC are perfect examples of this.
Mom wants to work: There are many women out there that need the separate work/home life in order to manage their households.
Mom loves her job: So many women now wait to have children later in life and have well-established careers by the time the baby comes around. They love what they do outside the home and want to continue it.

Why stay-at-home-moms (SAHMs) care about this, I will never know. If the set up works for their lifestyle, home, spouse, children and bank account, so what? All moms—whether working full time, part time or “at home”—all have the same issues with kids. We deal with poor sleeping habits, potty training, illnesses, teaching them to read and discipline. Working moms have the added challenge of being away all day long, coming home and doing all the same stuff we SAHMs do—laundry, dinner, bath time, cleaning, etc.

For most SAHMs it’s not a luxury all the time to stay at home, ok, it is fun to shop at the store during the day when it’s empty or have lunch out with the kids now and then, but we make sacrifices too. I do miss the extra money! Sometimes all day with kids is just too much for any person to handle. Who has it harder? Probably the working moms do. Although many days I wish I could go into work and leave the kids with Andrew.

Do I feel tension between working moms and SAHMs Not a bit. I’m sure there are many days that the working moms would love to be at home with their kids. They made their choices just like we made ours. You do the best you can with what resources you have and hope for the best for your kids. I salute all the moms out there. It’s the hardest job, by far.

1 comment:

Cara Fox said...

Amen to that. I'm a part-time WAH and SAH mom and I definitely agree that working moms have it hardest - they work all day in the office and then come home and put in a full day as moms. But I know all kinds of moms (working full time, part time, and not outside the home at all) and have never once felt the tension between the groups, except when watching Oprah. At least in my generation (XY - a youngest of the X's and the oldest of the Y's), the "age old" debate between working and stay at home moms is totally trumped up by media. In the age of internet and telecommuting, our generation CAN have it all. Is it easy? No. But what's ever easy?