6.12.2008

The Pregnancy Test

This morning I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. Nevermind the fact that my period is a few weeks late. I suspected it was due to a change in pills that didn't seem to be working right in the first place, but after a chain of events, I thought it is possible I could be pregnant.

My husband prides himself on suspecting my previous pregnancies before I even took a test. So a few days ago, when he suggested I might be pregnant. I blew it off. Yesterday I asked my kids what they thought dad might want for Father's Day. Alex's response, "Daddy wants another boy!"

So when I woke up feeling sick, still lamenting on my lack of period, I thought, well, maybe.

During morning errands, I stopped in at CVS to pick up a pregnancy test. Suddenly I realized I liked the idea. I might be pregnant! I had a spring in my step as we passed Whole Foods. I looked into nearby Right Start and thought how much I loved the baby stuff in there, but we've moved passed needing things in there. Maybe, I thought. Maybe we're here again. I like it. We walked to the bookstore and I started talking to a woman with three kids--one who nursed right there. I miss this, I thought. Am I crazy??

Life has gotten so easy now. Two kids. No diapers. No wipes. No bottles. No fuss.

I came home and took the test. I remember the days long before Alex was born where I prayed so hard the test would be positive. I would turn the test to catch the light hoping for the faint line of pregnancy.

Today....there was only one line. Instead of tossing it away quickly like I've done the last two times we've had a scare, I looked a few more and even turned it a bit just to check before I threw it away. I sat down and realized I was sad.

8 comments:

3XMom said...

ooh..i'm sorry you are sad. I had an unexpected third and although there are hassles of having a baby again, it is so wonderful. You never know - maybe this is telling you something? Or maybe it was just that kind of a day...

Ainsley said...

I can totally relate to your feelings. I had "a scare" sometime after Wyatt turned 1 - The test was negative and I suddenly became really bummed out and mopey for the next few days... it was then that I realized I was ready for #2. =)

Maybe there's a 3rd in your future?!

Stimey said...

I hear you. Even though there is no way on this earth that I want a 4th child, anytime I've thought it might be possible and then it hasn't happened, it's a little sad. (But really: no way on this earth.)

DianeCG said...

You still never know. I got back at least 3 negative tests with my first and then had a bunch of margaritas and got a positive a week later. Will you be testing again in a week or two?

littlepinkpansy said...

oooh, a 3rd??? you're a braver woman than I! maybe it's time to throw away those pills and see what happens ;)

Nicole said...

you have 2 great little ones :)

good post !

Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck said...

Aw, I'm sorry you were disappointed...

Although you never know, maybe you need to take another test in a few days! And even if you aren't pregnant yet, it doesn't mean you can't be...maybe its a sign that its time for #3! :)

Jessica McFadden said...

I can relate to this post. (I'm not pregnant, but often wistful.) Keep us posted!